tenchi muyo 
fiat lux!
Imagine eating a worm that, unknown to you, was festering in your dinner. Imagine the worm waiting for a warmer place to call home. Imagine that warmer place to call home your stomach. Now imagine, after consuming said worm, the neurons in your brain start linking up faster than you can think.
It gets complicated for awhile. The perikaryons become permeable, starting a chain reaction that allows dendrites and axons to travel at speeds unimaginable through the labyrinthine network of telodendrons in the trilobed structure of the cerebral hemispheres.
But those are just mere details. It is easier to think of it as a one-dimensional printed circuit board, with switches opening and closing, and gates selecting the appropriate functions, the resistors and conductors overloading, and the main body of the programming language being overworked with little or no delay, with data conveyed at 1.3 terahertz per second. Somewhere in there is the smell of plastic burning.
Or to think of it another way, a very complex subway system that goes over and under and sideways while working along its usual routes, carrying more commuters than is permissible under the public transport system regulations code, with said commuters cruising at the speed of thought both backwards and forwards at the same time (perhaps due to some fluke in an area of quantum physics still lodged in the section of "dubious and abstruse").
Imagine -- while all this is happening in your brain -- that the enlarged, saclike portion of the alimentary canal you call the stomach is ingesting aforementioned worm with ever-increasingly rapid contractions of the intestinal fats, drawing all kinds of nutrients previously unbeknownst to man.
Chief amongst this macrobiotic concoction of sustentative nourishment is a mnemonic virus not unlike the straight rod-shaped gram-negative bacillus escherichia coli, found in the human gastrointestinal tract, and more affectionately known as the bacterium that causes 'mad cow disease' by boring holes into brain tissue.
However, unlike the e. coli, this mnemonic virus makes its way to your brain and sets off a dramatic series of events -- producing hematopoietic stem cells that eradicate wear and tear through time and misuse, strengthening channels and connections you thought never existed, creating explosive bursts of energy that swells the amount of blood in your brain twofold, and plugging up whatever holes and leakages that were heretofore latent.
With all this occurring concurrently with a two-punch combination of sleep deprivation and nicotine overload, your mind is bombarded with seismic waves of superlative intelligence and cosmic omniscience. Every aimless dart that your mind throws in the dark hits a bullseye. Every question that you manage to ask gets an answer. Every moment in your life attains an infinite significance on a universal scale.
Imagine, if you will, experiencing epiphany after epiphany of the mind faster than you have the time to reflect upon each one or write them down for future reference. Imagine, in this heightened state of perspicacity, you are able to discern the world through the eyes of every human being on the planet. You feel an aura of celestial space emanating from within and your ears ring with a supreme, transcendental voice of truth from above.
Imagine everything you have done, everything you have felt, everything you have experienced, all melt into a milky white radiance in the very center of your soul. Imagine overcoming every obstacle you will ever face with nonchalant ease, confronting your fears with a cavalier attitude, meeting every hardship that comes your way with eminent grace. In these fleeting moments you have found a panacea for the heart and mind. Now imagine every engram of this specific experience etched in the corners of your mind forever.
The reason why I have described all of the above in detail is because I think I ate that worm. It is now difficult to comprehend what exactly happened, or to explain it in words. The feeling of utter contentment was so complete and so perfect even my thoughts could not invade it. Nothing worried me, and the impression that I got was bliss. I would never have imagined the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of my stomach would lead to that. I would never have thought eating bad food would turn out to be so good.
The physiological repercussions were apparent enough; I am still experiencing the side-effects right now. I am having a bout of constipation, there is a pinched nerve running down my right leg, my ass cheeks (especially the right one) feel like someone slapped them really hard, and if I didn't know better the soreness around my *ahem* sphincter would have led me to believe I had spent a night in jail as the... umm, resident prison bitch. I guess there is always a price to pay for achieving enlightenment. Pop quiz! Should I take two worms, get some rest, and call God in the morning?
It gets complicated for awhile. The perikaryons become permeable, starting a chain reaction that allows dendrites and axons to travel at speeds unimaginable through the labyrinthine network of telodendrons in the trilobed structure of the cerebral hemispheres.
But those are just mere details. It is easier to think of it as a one-dimensional printed circuit board, with switches opening and closing, and gates selecting the appropriate functions, the resistors and conductors overloading, and the main body of the programming language being overworked with little or no delay, with data conveyed at 1.3 terahertz per second. Somewhere in there is the smell of plastic burning.
Or to think of it another way, a very complex subway system that goes over and under and sideways while working along its usual routes, carrying more commuters than is permissible under the public transport system regulations code, with said commuters cruising at the speed of thought both backwards and forwards at the same time (perhaps due to some fluke in an area of quantum physics still lodged in the section of "dubious and abstruse").
Imagine -- while all this is happening in your brain -- that the enlarged, saclike portion of the alimentary canal you call the stomach is ingesting aforementioned worm with ever-increasingly rapid contractions of the intestinal fats, drawing all kinds of nutrients previously unbeknownst to man.
Chief amongst this macrobiotic concoction of sustentative nourishment is a mnemonic virus not unlike the straight rod-shaped gram-negative bacillus escherichia coli, found in the human gastrointestinal tract, and more affectionately known as the bacterium that causes 'mad cow disease' by boring holes into brain tissue.
However, unlike the e. coli, this mnemonic virus makes its way to your brain and sets off a dramatic series of events -- producing hematopoietic stem cells that eradicate wear and tear through time and misuse, strengthening channels and connections you thought never existed, creating explosive bursts of energy that swells the amount of blood in your brain twofold, and plugging up whatever holes and leakages that were heretofore latent.
With all this occurring concurrently with a two-punch combination of sleep deprivation and nicotine overload, your mind is bombarded with seismic waves of superlative intelligence and cosmic omniscience. Every aimless dart that your mind throws in the dark hits a bullseye. Every question that you manage to ask gets an answer. Every moment in your life attains an infinite significance on a universal scale.
Imagine, if you will, experiencing epiphany after epiphany of the mind faster than you have the time to reflect upon each one or write them down for future reference. Imagine, in this heightened state of perspicacity, you are able to discern the world through the eyes of every human being on the planet. You feel an aura of celestial space emanating from within and your ears ring with a supreme, transcendental voice of truth from above.
Imagine everything you have done, everything you have felt, everything you have experienced, all melt into a milky white radiance in the very center of your soul. Imagine overcoming every obstacle you will ever face with nonchalant ease, confronting your fears with a cavalier attitude, meeting every hardship that comes your way with eminent grace. In these fleeting moments you have found a panacea for the heart and mind. Now imagine every engram of this specific experience etched in the corners of your mind forever.
The reason why I have described all of the above in detail is because I think I ate that worm. It is now difficult to comprehend what exactly happened, or to explain it in words. The feeling of utter contentment was so complete and so perfect even my thoughts could not invade it. Nothing worried me, and the impression that I got was bliss. I would never have imagined the uncomfortable sensation in the pit of my stomach would lead to that. I would never have thought eating bad food would turn out to be so good.
The physiological repercussions were apparent enough; I am still experiencing the side-effects right now. I am having a bout of constipation, there is a pinched nerve running down my right leg, my ass cheeks (especially the right one) feel like someone slapped them really hard, and if I didn't know better the soreness around my *ahem* sphincter would have led me to believe I had spent a night in jail as the... umm, resident prison bitch. I guess there is always a price to pay for achieving enlightenment. Pop quiz! Should I take two worms, get some rest, and call God in the morning?
PLAYLIST
Needles -- System Of A Down
Bring Me Down -- Kanye West
Where Are You -- Our Lady Peace
The Meaning Of Soul -- Oasis
The Worm -- Audioslave
*
posted by the narcissist at 6:38:00 am
3 Comments:
oh god. you ate a worm.
i think i did. see, i'm not sure.
take care forever.
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